Well. That Seasonal Affective Disorder got me good girl.  

Yeah I came real hot out the gate at the start of January. Miss Thing was feeling it! Then, not so much. Winter really is a bitch, and I had not been fully informed. Without somewhere to be everyday and freezing temperatures awaiting me outside my door, I found myself alone with my thoughts more than is advisable, leading to a maelstrom of self-deprecation and anxiety. These hands have to stay busy, because I am like a train. When I’m chugging down the line, you can’t slow me down. But when I’ve come to a stop, it’s like hell to get these gears going again.

And I stopped. Disappointingly so too. I stopped and got lost in my darkness.

We all have our own darkness, just as we have our light too. We walk our paths with no map, and it’s easy to lead ourselves astray. No matter how far from your intended path you find yourself though, you can always find your way back if you remember to find your light.

Easier said than done sometimes though, right? For the past year, I’ve found myself so fucking lost, so incapable of achieving my dreams, so unable to do all I wanted that I would rather not continue forward on my path than see myself fail. When I look at my dreams, I feel too small to achieve what I set in front of myself. And I’m sure you’ve felt the same at some point too. It’s crazy how we can achieve so much, and then believe in ourselves so little.

Your light is in your friends and family, in your passions, and in facing your fears. It is the strength you find in yourself to do what's right and not what's easy. When you capture it, it leads you down your path and lights the way for others. And that's what is most important - that you share your light with others when you have it. Reach out and grab somebody that needs it. There is a handful of you on the dance floors in NYC that I have stopped at the function to thank you for doing just that. Those are what we need more of.

So tonight, I’m gathering up all my darkness, my insecurities, my sadness, and I’m taking it with me to The Black Party. I’m going to take my problems to the dance floor and leave them there. Time to practice what I preach! As Steven Pevner, owner of Saint at Large, said of the annual Rites of Spring bacchanal (celebrating its 40th year), The Black Party is “… a time for exorcising demons, shedding skins and entering spring renewed.” This year of darkness ends tonight, and we’re getting back on this path and back to what I came to do. It’s time that Daisy really does it.

Find your light. Live your light. Share your light.

 I’ll try to do the same.  


David X Daisy


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